Can Purell be used as lube?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
