When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
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We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
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Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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