im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
