no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
