how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I have fence marks all over my body
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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