Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
operation harelip BJ is a go
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
