Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
