Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
