Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
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He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
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You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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