the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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