she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
