3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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