Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize