I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
