I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
