its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize