I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
