I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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