Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
