Define "chronic" masturbator.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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