youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
