My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
