In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm having to shit out rocks
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
