I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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