garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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