I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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