He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
