Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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