Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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