This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
