Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
