Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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