just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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