The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
