how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
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I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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