He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
