I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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