whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
farters have to be the big spoon...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
