went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
