No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
