Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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