I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
