I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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