the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
