So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You need Xanax blowdarts
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
