Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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