oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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