A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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