Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
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if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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