We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
