we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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