Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
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If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
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He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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