Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
