I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize