Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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