I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
