I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
