I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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