Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
