can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
