I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip ๐๐๐
Your skills amaze me
If the people youโre with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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