I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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