brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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