dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
