iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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