either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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