im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
