He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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